Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
