If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
im drinking this country out of the recession.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
