Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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