I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
