Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
