Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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