So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
