Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
