We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We're too hungover to prance.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
