Tell her she can't have a vagina
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
