TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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