My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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