Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
