Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
