I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
