So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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