cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
