We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
