I'm laying in your front yard are you home
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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