It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
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