doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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