Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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