I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
