Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
