Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
