One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
