and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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