i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
