would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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