I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
