no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
