SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
