Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
