I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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