i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
