capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
