4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
