there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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