i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
