I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
