It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
