...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
