its not stalking. its research.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I AM VODKA MAN
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
