I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
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