we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
