Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Small penises have feelings too.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
