fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
