It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
do nipples grow back?
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