If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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