they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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