sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
