If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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